Inside Out.

I'm getting myself ready for tonight...by this point, I'd be really nervous, but for some reason, I'm not.

For the first time in a long while, I'm a part of something where I don't feel like I stick out. That, and I get to do something I love, and be encouraged to push myself a little more each day. I've met a few interesting people, and maybe it's just the beginning of an even bigger path for me.

I've always felt that music can change us in ways we could never imagine...the right song, and the right words, can turn us "inside out," putting our thoughts and emotions on display. Imagine, if you will...

- How many people have listened to Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly" (or Al B. Sure, or Luther Vandross, or The Fugees, depending on which generation you're in), and thought about that someone that was just out of their reach?
- When you just couldn't find the right way to tell someone just how much you care about them, and you turn on the radio, and you hear Stevie Wonder's "My Cherie Amour"...Boyz II Men's "A Song For Mama"...Luther Vandross's "Dance With My Father." Time stops for a few minutes, and you realize that you probably could have never put your thoughts into any better words.
- Feeling a little bit less than best, and wishing that things were different...you just want to be mad, or just want to cry...everyone has that one song that they can't help but sing along to when they're down, and one song that's guaranteed to instantly make you remember why you were feeling so bad in the first place.

There's no last-minute apprehension...no awkward uncomfortableness with everyone involved...all I have to do is sing, and have fun doing it. The only people there to impress are the judges, and at the end of the night, everyone's had a good time. It's almost weird...I can forget about the world for five minutes, and just sing.

With good will, I'll make it to the end of this whole thing. But whenever this journey ends, I know that it's only the first step in the right direction. Getting in touch with people who enjoy music, and not feeling like I have to be "on" when I tell people that I sing (you know how it goes...you tell people that you sing, and it's like, "ohh, sing something for me! come on!"). Is it fun? Sure. But sometimes, I just want to enjoy the song like everyone else...sing along, not worrying about whether it sounds good or not, all that jazz. The fun gets taken out of it very quickly when you're put on the spot.

Like anyone else, this is one of the many parts of what makes me a pretty good whole. My parts are definitely all over the place...I've never been the type to just lock in on one thing. If there's a few aspects of a part of life that catch me, I'm going to dive in on all of them. Like...

- Sports. I have no objection to anyone else's personal preferences, by any means, but it'd be nice to go from a Bulls game to a Bears game to a White Sox game without a fuss about something being boring (and if things keep going the way they are, come October/November, all three will be on at the same time...pretty much amazing!). My goal isn't to be overly great at any one sport, but it's fun to give it a shot. I want to play hockey someday...for one reason, and one reason alone...ten points if you know the answer! If not, feel free to ask.
- Technology. Yes, I like it, and it's something that comes a bit easier to me than others. But there are a lot of people in the field that deal with it, and that's basically all that they do. When I'm working on something, like a new program or dealing with someone's computer-related issues, I'm really into it, and it comes out in "tech-speak," if you will. But when I'm done, it's back on the shelf, and that's that.
- Cooking. My TV's on the Food Network as I type. This is always a tricky subject, mostly because each of us are plenty particular about what we eat. In my 23 years, 9 months, and 1 week on this earth, not including parents, and not including anyone related to me, I've only had two people cook for me. And one of them lied about it...she didn't want to own up to it if I didn't like it (which, by the way, is NOT the right way to go!). I appreciate it because I know the time and effort that goes into making something, and hoping that whoever you're serving it to will like it. When it comes to eating, however...I figure as long as it's thoroughly cooked, and it comes from the heart, I'm happy. Who lies about food? Honestly!
- Traveling. Some might say, "oh, you didn't seem so excited when you were at (XYZ)." Keeping with the theme of "inside out," I enjoy being in new places period, but I'm probably more into the random adventure...which basically means that if I get an idea for something in my head, it'll probably happen within 72 hours. I'd love to find a couple people to be random with, but if not, I'll send postcards and whatnot. The time I spent in LA was priceless...if you don't already know the story, ask me why I just can't look at Superman the same way anymore.

It would be completely crazy to think that I could find someone that would be just as big on some of these things as I am, so it's not that I'm looking for anyone to cover all the bases. Besides, it's just fun to be around different groups of people, and still be able to enjoy life. If some of the same faces turn up in different groups, it would be pretty welcoming, but it's not a requirement. A big part of friendship is realizing what you have in common with someone, and being able to grow together.

Well, it's about that time. I'm checking out for the weekend...have fun, be safe, don't drink and drive, all that good stuff. And if there's barbecue somewhere...call me!

I'm really serious about that. Call me. I've had a taste for some all week.