One More Day.

I've managed to make it through weekend number one...that is, after getting over the "instant nerves," as I like to call it, that came on. I guess it's just the "shit, it's actually happening" aspect of it that gets me.

As fate would have it, Sister #1 got me sick...hopefully, my throat doesn't close up before Friday. It's been an interesting experience so far...yeah, we're all competing against one another, but it doesn't seem like it. Everyone seems to get along, and it'll be weird not seeing them as often after it's all said and done.

For anyone who might have been expecting something a little deeper...I got nothing for you tonight. Sorry to disappoint you. I'm a little tapped out at the moment, I guess...maybe it's the headache talking, but who knows. Wait, I do have something...

I think we can agree that one of the ongoing paths of life is the desire to be better understood. But what happens when the fact that you're not starts to unfold?

I know that some of my thoughts, thoughts that may sound simple to me, aren't going to be seen the same way. I like to think that I'm making myself clear, but maybe the details are hiding the bigger picture. Or maybe my "simple" isn't "simple" to others...

The worst part of this thought is that it makes me sound like I have to oversimplify myself (or "dumb it down") to relate to my friends and family, which isn't what I'm going for. It would just be really nice if there was one person who I could talk to, and when the day is over, they can say, "I get it." I don't think it's like asking anyone to turn water into wine, but I'm not sure.

It makes me think of the old saying..."you have to understand yourself before anyone else can." I think I have a pretty good grip on myself...and others wonder how I can approach life the way that I do. I must be crazy...I don't really care about (insert person or issue here)...if they were me, they'd (insert random solution here). It's (mostly) in the name of being helpful, which is something I touched on in "Dreams...", and it's definitely a step in the right direction.

Is there anyone in my life right now that I think truly "gets" me? Nope. The parentals are probably the closest, and I think it's because they finally decided to just let me go about things my own way, and just ask questions when they want to know about something. Very simple, yet very effective. Am I opening myself enough to let others in? Sure...I'll tell you anything you want to know. Do I shut myself off fairly quickly? Yeah...when it's clear that things aren't the same. Am I unique? Definitely...just like everyone else.

So many thoughts...about everyone and everything. If you think that I've forgotten about you, or anything that might have happened, well...I haven't. I think it's physically impossible for me to do it...I've had to "remember" things when I come across old friends, just because I think it seems a little odd to be able to recall some details to a "T." Yeah, it can be a little rough sometimes...there are some people, places, and things that I would kill to never have to think about again. Not because I don't care, but because I want to pick up the phone and say, "I miss you. I'm sorry. Let's start over." Sometimes, you can...and sometimes, you just have to pray that that someone knows how much you love them, that you can see that place again, and that some of those things will come back in a new form.

I'm thankful for the time that everyone spends in my life...whether it be a minute or a year. I hope that anyone who reads this realizes that, too. Okay, time for some NyQuil and food...thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Snide remarks? Go for it.